The Danger of Comparing and Judging

We all judge to certain degrees. We judge those that we don’t approve of. We judge those that we think have more than they deserve. We compare ourselves to our friends, family & even our own children.

But what does one accomplish by judging and comparing? Nothing good. To be clear I’m not advocating that we forget to use discernment in life. Yes, I want you to judge the oncoming driver of the car straight ahead & adjust as needed. But no, I don’t want you to live each day comparing yourself to anyone other than yourself. Please do work to be better than you were yesterday. But not in comparison to others.

One major issue with judging is that no one really knows someone else’s true story. That happy family on your facebook wall is really dealing with an impending divorce because that ‘perfect husband’ has a drinking problem and gets violent. That single lady that travels the world and loves life is actually just escaping her misery from a failed marriage after they tried for years to have babies. That jerk that cut you off in traffic just received a phone call that his wife is in the ER and might not make it long enough for him to get there.

These are just examples of what might be going on with other people. And they may be true stories or fabrications but we don’t know now do we? We can’t assume that someone’s life is better than ours and we can’t assume that their life is worse. Why would you possibly want to live life in a constant state of comparison and judgment? I’m not saying it will be easy and you’ll have to work at it every day but if you just stop judging and wondering and simply focus on yourself, your family, your career, your spiritual, mental & physical self won’t you accomplish so much more and be so much happier for it?

Sure, learn from others but always make sure you know what you are actually learning. Take time to be with yourself or one with nature or in a religious setting if you choose. Find out who you are and what makes you happy and then go and do that. Just because the Jones’ next door appear to only be happy when they are entertaining and buying new things doesn’t mean that is the life for you. Perhaps you enjoy your quiet alone time. Or maybe you are happiest free and traveling the world alone. Don’t worry about what others seek for their happiness just learn to follow your passions, intuitions and ultimate happiness.

Be inspired by what could be but never dwell on it. Focus on what you want and so it will be!